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Walking away: A busy, run-down mind

So it’s been quiet on here recently but I wanted to get everything that’s been happening and all things I’ve been feeling down. It’s a way to rid myself of thoughts and helps process and move onto a freer version of myself.

So…where to begin…where we left off I guess.
Last post was a gushing one about joy. This one, there is always joy, but with that, there will always come hardship so we know what joy is.

June head-butted me and my lip turned infected. It got worse and my jaw where my glands are were all swollen. Doctor prescribed antibiotics and told me to visit my dentist. The dentist said wait for more pain or wait for this to work its way out. Thankfully, it was the latter. The pain and swelling went down and I’m now left with a tiny lump. It’s nearly healed. I’m glad my body healed. It was a week of feeling totally run down.

Apart from that, half term has been great. Oscar has been trying to finish the hallway off but he’s annoyed he hasn’t finished it. We’ve been on lots of adventures and the girls have loved all our little trips. Olive is starting to talk too much and June needs to talk more…

Lacrosse is in full swing and I’m starting at a new prep school tomorrow doing a taster programme after school for an hour every week. More meetings next week to line up some new ideas. It’s very exciting. The upcoming meetings have been swamping me a little and keeps me extremely busy-minded. I’m enjoying the way in which we are shaping our future.

There’s been a thought in mind about how, when we’d play all the independent schools at lacrosse, we always used to get annoyed at how good they were because of they used to ‘practise 3 times a week’ and they’d board so they get the chance to ‘play all the time’. However, through this coaching experience, and reading a few articles - it’s more about the calibre of the coaching. It’s about how the girls are inspired. I’m so glad I get to coach girls that would have been where I was and I get to coach them how that age should be taught. 
It’s fun. It’s about having fun. The pressure to do well comes from the own individual’s presence and confidence and you can’t teach fierceness. It comes from within. All I hope to do is to help the girls be themselves on the pitch. To see what they’re good at and what they want to be, not do what everyone else is doing. See what they’re strengths are and push their own abilities.

I want them to be square pegs in a round hole. They should think outside the box. They should be free to be and do what they want. That’s where creativity and power come. That’s the impact coaches need to have.

Onto other things, we’re finally planning our Italian getaway. I’m currently thinking Genoa. A new place for us (with new wine and new regional food to explore) and somewhere that has everything for the girls: pizza, swimming, beach, play parks. Passports for all first!

Underneath all of this life stuff comes a frustrating topic of family toxicity. I’ve been struggling with an inner family member who seems to be casting us aside and rejecting us. Our response: live the life we want to live and keep doing us. We can’t force people to love us or care. If people will never change, even after telling them how damaging their behaviour is, then unfortunately you have to walk away.

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