Quetzalcoatl

Well, here we are again. Needing to write and finding the time because Oscar has taken Rosie to gymnastics. I'm sat under an acer tree looking out over our veg plot. We didn't do raised beds, I just used about 20 bags of compost and lined it with cardboard to stop the weeds and so I didn't have to dig it over. It is blooming and it's the first day of July.  Last week we had a record heatwave of 36/37 degrees in England and it was unbearable. I had the weirdest night of my life which was a mix of heat exhaustion, anxiety, and trauma induced panic. I think it was a reaction to the heat, the constant making sure everyone was fed and watered and the slow gradual build up of heat. My body felt like it shut down and expelled everything. Before the event, I felt bloated, exhausted, and running on a never ending treadmill. Oscar took over the girls and I led in bed to recover. My brain felt fried and I was on edge that it would happen again. The knots in my stomach began and I ...