Skip to main content

Wintering: a slow stillness

Here comes the slow part of the year. I remember it so well as we were planning a new vegetable patch in our old garden last year. Yes, our old garden. For the first time in ten years, we have moved. People around us know how important this new home is to us. It's made us feel more grounded than ever before, the children are finally free in their big garden of dreams, and the house we live in feels like home. 

It's a two bed bungalow. When people visit and see it, they can't believe it's a two bed bungalow but it really is. We can expand here; grow old here. We have an attic space with round windows to work in. We have a garage we will convert to a teenager escape. We have a spare office space we'll turn into Rosie's little room. I've got a craft cottage and an old concrete room with a kiln in. We've put the wood in there from three trees so far (one fell, two chopped down by Oscar's friend). But there's an awful lot of care this place needs. We're getting there. Two new bay windows, two double doors, two back doors, and bedroom windows all replaced. Like for like, brass fittings to blend in. It's now warm. 

This place was an old antique shop - they sold art and antiques. The alarms are still all over the walls and in the corner of every room. It has a quiet, calm, peaceful feeling. We're surrounded by about 20 oak trees, and dozens and dozens of other varieties that I can't even remember. I'd need to dig up the tree map but I haven't got my phone - I'm in bed while Rosie sleeps in her cot. I hope this typing doesn't wake her. 

I didn't really come on here to talk about the house - I knew I was just needing to write. I wanted to write about how I've had a shift in feelings about things again. Constant shifting is this parenting lark. I found a childminder recently and she would have been such a great fit but something wasn't quite right. It was me. I was reaching out for help because of my exhaustion. I needed the holidays - something happened in between Christmas and New Year. My Mum mentioned that her days would change and I visited her and I realised that I wanted Rosie to have the same as what the other girls had. Fairness. 

Olive tried childcare at 18 months but she was so little. She was too little. We only did it because I was having June and I was told it would help her. June didn't go anywhere until she was just over 2, when she joined Olive in her pre-school. Those two have been together through everything together. No wonder they bicker. Rosie coming along has changed everything. We wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be in this glorious, glorious home. I would be struggling to survive with my children at prep school. I would still be at the prep school I was helping out because I knew it was a way for the girls to get better schooling. I would have been working to the bone to afford their schooling. Now, that pressure has been removed for us. Rosie removed that. I was thrown into early motherhood and nesting. But the old home wasn't our nest - it was already shifting into someone else's. My God, I miss that turquoise sink, though (don't worry, I'm already planning a lilac bath...). 

So...with me no longer tied to a school and free to explore all options - we have started both girls in the local primary and it's adorable...I just have to stop comparing primaries to prep schools and I'll be ok...I think. And maybe we can dream about senior schools one day...who knows where I'll work in 5-10 years...

Anyway, tutoring is going wonderfully with new pupils and schemes of work that I'm designing myself, all bespoke to the child and their needs. The best bit is that I can tailor it to their interests. I've done Non-Fiction projects on motorbikes, playwright projects on Marlowe over Shakespeare, Christmas themes creative writing, and literature projects where students choose their own genre to study. I'm planning on making a new Spring Poetry Anthology. I will try to complete this every season and learn seasonally. Giving them choices makes them part of learning - part of the fun. I love it.

I don't miss the classroom. I don't miss the classroom. I don't miss the classroom. I do. Of course I do. I know I'll be back one day. And I can use all these amazing resources I've created. 

Anyway, this shift that I mentioned - it was one in me that basically realised that the childminder wasn't going to be available in the days I needed her so I would have to create my own fun here. I need to get out with Rosie more - she will be going to my Mums once a week like the girls do and they thrived so much on going there. They love it and I love them being with her. That day is when I get my tutoring done (and two evenings plus one weekend morning) means the other days can be prepping the garden for vegetable growing - what we did last year but three beds rather than one long one. I need to crack on with my own projects without worrying about her not enjoying it. We can have a balance. Her time with her toys and my time with my projects. She's my little shadow and she'll be coming along for the ride, not me handing her over to someone else. Just us. 2026 will be the last year of solely bringing a child into the world. It's so special to do this. It's a privilege but a bloody tiring one. 

Come September, she'll have her sisters little uniform and little school shoes. She's already drawing wonderfully and talking non-stop so I think she'll be just fine. 

Here's to soaking up every little bit of our third little girl's second year.

And here's to prepping the ground for spring.

ZP x

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Through the bleak grows hope: January 2025

One of my friends said to me last week that January is for organising. She's a vegetable gardener. More will follow about this later, but currently, I'm upstairs in our bedroom after a very average sleep.  --- I managed the above three sentences before I was interrupted. It's now very common with three little lives that come bursting in on me in the morning. We had to get ready for the school run so off I went to convince them to stand still for more than a few minutes just to get them changed. I rudely interrupted their game of MumandDad. They really have the sweetest games. But this post isn't about 3-4 year old games. As always, I never know where this writing will take me but I have a vague idea and I know that I need to write. So I write.  I'll crack straight on with this first post since March 2024...my mission is to use this blog to write every month. I have showered and dried my hair. Alone. A luxury in this Mum world I'm currently in. It isn't just ...

Another New Chapter: Full of surprises...

I'm writing this when I should be hanging the washing out. Logging on has made me realise that I haven't written since last year. It was on a book about the independent sector of education. I have had a lot of eye opening and life changing moments since that last post.  Firstly, we are expecting our third baby...it still seems surreal to be writing that. I feel so lucky and overwhelmed with how busy our house will be and how much love can be in one home. A total surprise and I now have to navigate another fork in the road of my teaching career. Sometimes, life takes over and you just have to surrender to the family. It reminds me to slow down: how I'm here to love them, our children, and not my job. Yes, we have the most ginormous toddler tantrums with our middle one, but the cuddles she can give are just phenomenal. I wish I could cuddle her at this age forever. Our eldest is getting ready for school in September and is nearly 5. She is just so grown up. I wish I could rem...

What we’re searching for (in an aging world)

Every day I learn a little bit more about having three children. Every day they frustrate me but I’m in awe and so proud most days. Today, I’ve dropped off two children to two separate schools while the baby sleeps in the car. It’s all about timing.   We’re used to it now. The weekend comes and the baby naps totally differently. A bit like us, I suppose. I’m learning that every stage goes so quickly but also lingers so long because you want it to end but equally you never want it to end. Motherhood is one big oxymoron. I’ve been thinking this morning about how different I am as a mother at 35 compared 30. I dread certain things because I know how hard it is breastfeeding exclusively. It is more exhausting now than it ever has been. The nights are easier. It’s the day. I want to do more than play on the floor all day. My mind is craving more now. Being in baby/toddler mode for so long takes its toll. My skin is getting slacker. It’s getting loose. I can feel myself aging. It’...