It's 5:29am and June was up at 5:10. It's an improvement on 4:30am. Usually, I'd go back to sleep until 6ish while Oscar has June downstairs and I wait for Olive to wake up and come up to me but today is different. It's Lacrosse Theory Session Day. The girls are off to Nanny and Bampy's and I've booked out the upstairs room in the Newbury Library to host my little theory session for my U13 team. I've even found them stretchy headbands as an early Christmas present. I used to give out personalised pens to my tutees at school so this feels the same, but different. I love giving small gifts - isn't that the most rewarding thing to see someone's face light up with joy at something you have thought about? Maybe I am in the Christmas spirit, after all. I read somewhere recently that the Christmas spirit peaks at 7 and 33...so it's all downhill from here.
Olive is stirring in her bed; I haven't got long. I ran downstairs and made a tea and carried my laptop and three biscuits back upstairs. I'm hoping to finish this and have a shower by the time she wakes up. I think I'll need a nap by midday. Let's hope the dentist is quick with me later (I've decided to invest in my teeth now I'm getting to a ripe age).
So that was quite an intro into what life is like today. Everyone seems to be asking me if I'm 'ready for Christmas'. But what's ready? The presents are all wrapped as we wanted to get them all done before we went away. I just have Oscar and Dad left. I genuinely find it enjoyable finding a gift that I think they'll like. But I always leave it until last minute with Dad. He requires more thinking time, whereas Mum is easy - I could almost buy her too much.
We've just got back from 5 days in Wales. Once we got into it, it was great fun. It's such an adjustment leaving our protective surroundings of home but we arrived at a magical snowy lodge tucked away in the Wye Valley and I knew this was the place to unwind. The local pub was more like the downstairs of someone's home and it was so comforting. I love Welsh pubs. They didn't even have a sign, just a painted name on the fence. They had a secret hidden room behind a sliding mirror. I thought it would open into a world of fun but it was a projected screen and sofas for men to watch sport while they drank. The more I think of it, the more I realise that the man who owned it just made it so he could sit in his house and drink with his mates. I'd like a pub. I love pubs. I can sit there for a drink with my book or I can eat alone and feel cosy and comforted. It's probably due to my Dad taking me to country pubs since I was a young teenager and I've always felt their warmth. It's a place for locals to relax, chat, and wind down. I have a few landlords in my ancestry. Maybe it's in my blood.
Ah Wales. We loved the misty windy mountain walks (the girls didn't really and we had to egg them on with snacks at every bench stop) and we loved the friendly locals. I wish we had more time to explore the food but we found the freshest eggs and had the best poachies I've done for a while. Olive also had chocolates on the tree from our kind host (which she asked for every 10 minutes). We found a local soft play and walked around Monmouth town - it was quiet and peaceful. We walked up a small mountain side with ancient woodlands and back down a rocky waterfalled slope. It was rather precarious but memorable. It was great to get away from the busy feeling of life at home. I've already done three loads of washing since we've been back.
During our stay, I spent a lot of time sewing. I stitched the girls' names on their stockings and finished off a few cardigans to my friends that have just had babies. Not much book reading at all but I turned off all social media and still haven't turned it back on. I might turn it back on just to post about this and then delete the apps again. Instead of them being the first thing I check when I open my phone, it was freeing to open photos or my emails or just not even pick my phone up unless someone contacted me. There may come a day when I disconnect from that world entirely and I hope it's soon. The world of technology feels too entwined in our society and it's sad that we all spend too long in front of these screens. I'm not sure how we move forward into a simpler space to exist. I think I might just buy a farm in Wales and rear some animals. Farming is a secret interest of mine as well as growing what we eat and living off the land. I don't do this at all and I would love to see how I could take this passion further. I think I might speak to my cousin, Will, who did an agricultural degree, to see how the land lies in farming right now.
Or I go back to teaching. I don't know. Who knows. At least there are many many paths that I can see myself heading down, it's just waiting to see which way the wind takes me.
Olive still isn't up but I'm predicting a 6am wake up and it's 5:56. Probably time to shower and finish my tea in peace then a mad two hours to get the girls ready for Nanny.
I think maybe we should change the wording of whether people are ‘ready for Christmas’. I'm going to try and ask what they're doing and who they're seeing rather than put pressure on people to have everything prepared. It's such a strange time of year: we try to cram one day of happiness by preparing for it for 30 days.
I say let's get ready less. I say do less and spend more time gifting to people who live across the road or next door. Invite neighbours round for drinks. Welcome your home to distant family who are lonely. Visit local pubs and feel comforted by their warmth. Bring in the free flowing wine and all the leftovers on Boxing Day. Walk more. Get outside and get rosy cheeked and back to warm up next to the fire. Cuddle a lot.
Discussing all that makes me want to go rescue all the homeless people in the world and give them dinner to help them feel that sensation of being protected by the people around you. I have cousins and family members surrounding me like an army of solidarity. I have approx 40 cousins within a 30 mile radius of where I sit now. I know people are there if I need them. I know that this is priceless and not many people can be sheltered like that. Maybe that's why I find it hard to travel; because home is so shielded.
My mission is to help my large family come together more and see more of the faces I grew up with that are now growing old in their homes.
Happy holidays everyone - it's nearly present time!
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