This post has been a long time coming. To be completely honest, I lost my briefcase (with my laptop in it) and we found it up in the loft when bundling more outgrown baby clothes up there.
This is what I wrote on Instagram when we welcomed Olive a month after being in a bubble with her:
"I’ve been quiet for a while because I’ve been in a magical baby bubble with my new little family. We have been falling in love a little more each day with our baby girl, Olive Grace Jean Smith.
It’s overwhelmingly incredible to be able to go on this journey and we feel lucky to be parents to such a beautiful girl.
Thank you for coming into the world, little Olive: we already love your big feet, your big dark eyes, your button nose, your little squeals just before you drop into a deep sleep, your happy milk face, your second poo just as Daddy puts a clean nappy on, your tiny finger nails, your softness after a bath, your slightly furry shoulders, and your long legs.
A girl!"
I can't believe our little Olive is already at the stage of introducing food. She's in a high chair, sitting up, rolling over, and being the most adorable chatty girl we love. We're very lucky and I'm enjoying every moment with her. Well, every moment is an exaggeration...some moments I'm not sure how we're surviving but I think that's parenthood.
I have been writing down little posts in the notes section in my phone: one about the questions you get during pregnancy, one about early life during motherhood, one on work, etc. etc. I'll get to them next. There’s also something I’m planning with Age UK as well as reviews on my latest fictional reads. I'm not sure where I'm even going with this post (I'm changing the title as I type!) but it just feels so good to sit down and write whilst my baby is sleeping (putting her on her front was a game changer - but I still miss her sleeping on our chests and that adorable baby cocoon we were in).
In between the last paragraph and this one, Olive has woken and disturbed the rhythm! Standard. She's good at doing that. She's now next to me playing with her favourite toys while I write, after a long feed. She's currently giggling at Oscar's bike in the kitchen. Yes, we have a motorbike in the kitchen!
Yesterday = no long naps; today = an hour and a half for lunch. Some days I say 'she is so predictable' but just at the point in which I say that, she changes everything again. One day is never the same and what works one day, never works the next day and so on. She is predictable in that she likes to feed to sleep (a lot of Mums I've spoken to do this but they feel embarrassed to admit it) and she wakes between 2-6 times in the night for feeds or cuddles. The whole idea about sleep training makes me feel a bit funny, like we're forcing something that shouldn't be happening. Ultimately, it works for some people but Olive is so distracted by the world at the moment that she doesn't feed as deeply so she makes up for it in the night if we've had a long day. Both Oscar and I generally feel so in sync with her and it's wonderful to see her grow up so smoothly. Yes, there are lots of bumps in the road and there are nights where I wish breastfeeding was easier or that babies could tell us why they're still not going to sleep but then I'll stop somewhere and feed her beautifully in the middle of a café or she'll look up at me and smile and I know its all worth it. That's all part of it and the next day, we're back at it again with a fresh (but tired) page.
All I will say for now is that there is no book for parenting. I never thought I'd say that! You muddle through. You get through it, somehow. Everyone's experience is different. Take the advice you need from people and spread your own experience to others in order to help people feel less alone if they're feeling it too. The storm of parenthood is raging strong but as long as there is someone there to see the little rainbows throughout the journey then everything will be ok.
Speak soon, Olive's just woken up...
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