So today has been a bit different. Another Thursday, but Olive was a sheep at her nursery's nativity. She was emotional after her amazing performance, so she obviously wanted to come home and find Junie-Bugs and Nanny. She came home and then I went to yoga.
This week, I've still been feeling overwhelmed myself. I kind of wish I could cry in the middle of a stage after an amazing performance and be rescued by a cuddly fluffy jumper and be told it was ok. But I'm the fluffy jumper and I have to be the guardian angel to my crying sheep.
When life gets too much, I've been starting to get more frustrated than usual. Actually, I think it's just been there since children. I think it's my super protective mode. Going to yoga, eating well, and drinking less wine is what I've decided to focus on. I'm not sure I've reduced my grape intake yet, but I've just finished a yoga class - and my goodness, I forgot how good flying pigeon felt. Or attempting to do a flying pigeon I should add.
No one really talks about Mum Rage. It's horrible. It feels like a hot mist, and - in the moment - I tend to get so frustrated with all the little things. Everything annoys me and I just want to escape. It definitely doesn't feel like myself.
So, I've decided that I need more yoga. Let's see if that helps for a bit. I've been reading a lot; just finished the Girl with a Pearl Earring and I need to write up my review of that in my little notebook. I also think it's this time of year for feeling frazzled. I've never looked forward to a New Year so much in that I look forward to that feeling of being refreshed. Now, it's a time when there is so much to do and such little time. Why do we have so much to do for Christmas? It's just one day. It all feels too much for me.
Thankfully, we can escape. This time next week, we'll be getting ready for our trip to Wales and we'll be packing up house and home to spend 5 quality days together in pure countryside before Christmas begins.
Earlier, before my yoga class, I had an amazing phone call that may end up resulting in an amazing opportunity to get myself back into the world of education. I'm ecstatic about it; so much so that I cried putting the washing out. I love it when opportunities come your way when you really need them. It feels like a lifeboat sent out to save me. I've been feeling at a crossroads for a while; well, not a crossroads, more of a winding road with no real destination...or feeling like I'm in a constant state of maternity leave limbo.
But this idea of a winding road: isn't that what's life all about? Trying to enjoy the twists and turns without knowing the destination. Learning to be happy through the rain and all that. I feel like I'm constantly improving myself and my family's future by creating new pathways to brighten up our journey of life.
And that's what I promise to Oscar, that no matter how much Mum Rage I have, I will learn to accept that further down the path, there will be opportunities that arise to bring me out of the mist and into the sunshine.
That's why humans should have faith in each other to bear with them while they go through their own journey and I'm learning the true meaning of love from knowing that someone is willing to stick with me through my own strange little path called life.
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