I just had my haircut at 7:30pm on a Monday evening in the salon opposite me. That's the first time I've been out in the evening for 6 months. 6 months. It's flown by and it doesn't feel that long. I even missed her a bit. Silly me. Anyway, it was amazing. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Oscar, for cuddling Olive back to sleep when she woke up. I'm feeling like a new lady.
This post, I'm harking back to the old days of being pregnant. It's been a while coming and my friend, Antonia, asked me to write something about this when we discussed it as she was pregnant at the same time and we spoke about how people felt like they had to right to discuss all your birth details with you even if they're a stranger. It's lovely chatting away to people (I'd chat to anyone) but I've never had anything like it when I was pregnant. Random people would say all sorts of things to me. It was such a bizarre thing.
Last summer, when I was pregnant (that was a subordinate clause I never thought I'd say...!), I wrote down all the questions that people asked me every day. I thought about carrying around a sign with the same answers on every time because it got so annoying.
I ended up playing funny games with people to divert my annoyance. I remember the conversation I had with a Tesco till lady. The lady asked (for the 60th time that week) when I was due. I replied "today, actually" (even though I was due in a week) and the look she gave me was hilarious in that she just didn't know what to say. Finally, I figured out how to deal with these pregnancy questions - with humour - but I only had a week left to use my new power (well, technically 15 days as Olive Bolive was 8 days late). Being out and about that late in pregnancy meant I got a lot of questions...I was on my hands and knees painting our kitchen floor three days before Olive was born (I also spent A LOT of time on a sofa in the spare room/nursery while we renovated our whole downstairs and to this day I still don't know how we did it)...but then my Nanny was up on a roof putting roof tiles up when she was 8 months pregnant so maybe it runs in the family...
Another supermarket encounter prior to this one left me feeling like a whale. In Waitrose, someone joked that I was so big and did I "have twins in there?". No, just the one. She's just got long arms like her Daddy...actually she turned out to have long legs and short arms. Yet another supermarket, this time M&S, and a man started talking to me about how his wife was pregnant in "this heat 24 years ago and it was so hot...". Thank you for your input - yes, my legs are swollen, my skin is stretched, and I can't sit still unless a fan is on me.
A favourite was "you're so low! You've dropped!" and then the next person "you're so high! You haven't dropped yet!". And then guessing the sex by seeing how high or low my bump was.
The two go-to questions were always "when are you due?" or "are you finding out whether you're having a boy or a girl?". Our opinion was that the due date was so unreliable. How can we tell?! The expected date of delivery (EDD) is so varied and Naegele's rule calculates it. It turns out he's an 18th Century professor and if you're unsure of the exact date of ovulation then it's very hard to give a day. Therefore, we never really know when we're due. So when I went 8 days over, I didn't worry at all and even though it was about 32 degrees, I just carried on and waited until our little monkey was ready. Once you know the science behind these things, it helps relax - that's why hypnobirthing helped us so much - and our general curiosity.
Also, it seems like a lot of people are finding out the sex of their babies - the ultrasound woman says only about a quarter of the ones she carries out are kept a secret - and we wanted the moment of birth to be just how we imagined (a surprise). And it was. To have her sex announced as she was born was wonderful. We had an inkling she was a girl. When I saw her, I shouted out, "it's a girl!". I really remember that. I don't remember any pain at all. Funny, that. Maybe my mind blocked it out in preparation for round two (!). Anyway, that's how we chose to do it and we are so happy we did. It was the most unreal, incredible moment of our lives. I've got a picture and I'm doing the ugliest cry I've ever seen. The biggest mix of relief and happiness.
So what am I waffling on about? Well, I guess to help out other Mums if they're fed up of people asking the same questions - then baffle them with humour. And also, to help people on how to ask questions to pregnant women, not just the go-to questions that everyone asks...how about "when's your due-time?" or "what month are you due?" or "what are you doing for you to relax at the moment?" or "what have you bought yourself recently that's not baby related?" or "can I make you a tea?" or, even better, "can I make you dinner?!". Some people are too proud to ask for anything (my partner included) and sometimes, all we need is five minutes peace.
This post, I'm harking back to the old days of being pregnant. It's been a while coming and my friend, Antonia, asked me to write something about this when we discussed it as she was pregnant at the same time and we spoke about how people felt like they had to right to discuss all your birth details with you even if they're a stranger. It's lovely chatting away to people (I'd chat to anyone) but I've never had anything like it when I was pregnant. Random people would say all sorts of things to me. It was such a bizarre thing.
Last summer, when I was pregnant (that was a subordinate clause I never thought I'd say...!), I wrote down all the questions that people asked me every day. I thought about carrying around a sign with the same answers on every time because it got so annoying.
I ended up playing funny games with people to divert my annoyance. I remember the conversation I had with a Tesco till lady. The lady asked (for the 60th time that week) when I was due. I replied "today, actually" (even though I was due in a week) and the look she gave me was hilarious in that she just didn't know what to say. Finally, I figured out how to deal with these pregnancy questions - with humour - but I only had a week left to use my new power (well, technically 15 days as Olive Bolive was 8 days late). Being out and about that late in pregnancy meant I got a lot of questions...I was on my hands and knees painting our kitchen floor three days before Olive was born (I also spent A LOT of time on a sofa in the spare room/nursery while we renovated our whole downstairs and to this day I still don't know how we did it)...but then my Nanny was up on a roof putting roof tiles up when she was 8 months pregnant so maybe it runs in the family...
Another supermarket encounter prior to this one left me feeling like a whale. In Waitrose, someone joked that I was so big and did I "have twins in there?". No, just the one. She's just got long arms like her Daddy...actually she turned out to have long legs and short arms. Yet another supermarket, this time M&S, and a man started talking to me about how his wife was pregnant in "this heat 24 years ago and it was so hot...". Thank you for your input - yes, my legs are swollen, my skin is stretched, and I can't sit still unless a fan is on me.
A favourite was "you're so low! You've dropped!" and then the next person "you're so high! You haven't dropped yet!". And then guessing the sex by seeing how high or low my bump was.
The two go-to questions were always "when are you due?" or "are you finding out whether you're having a boy or a girl?". Our opinion was that the due date was so unreliable. How can we tell?! The expected date of delivery (EDD) is so varied and Naegele's rule calculates it. It turns out he's an 18th Century professor and if you're unsure of the exact date of ovulation then it's very hard to give a day. Therefore, we never really know when we're due. So when I went 8 days over, I didn't worry at all and even though it was about 32 degrees, I just carried on and waited until our little monkey was ready. Once you know the science behind these things, it helps relax - that's why hypnobirthing helped us so much - and our general curiosity.
Also, it seems like a lot of people are finding out the sex of their babies - the ultrasound woman says only about a quarter of the ones she carries out are kept a secret - and we wanted the moment of birth to be just how we imagined (a surprise). And it was. To have her sex announced as she was born was wonderful. We had an inkling she was a girl. When I saw her, I shouted out, "it's a girl!". I really remember that. I don't remember any pain at all. Funny, that. Maybe my mind blocked it out in preparation for round two (!). Anyway, that's how we chose to do it and we are so happy we did. It was the most unreal, incredible moment of our lives. I've got a picture and I'm doing the ugliest cry I've ever seen. The biggest mix of relief and happiness.
So what am I waffling on about? Well, I guess to help out other Mums if they're fed up of people asking the same questions - then baffle them with humour. And also, to help people on how to ask questions to pregnant women, not just the go-to questions that everyone asks...how about "when's your due-time?" or "what month are you due?" or "what are you doing for you to relax at the moment?" or "what have you bought yourself recently that's not baby related?" or "can I make you a tea?" or, even better, "can I make you dinner?!". Some people are too proud to ask for anything (my partner included) and sometimes, all we need is five minutes peace.
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